A mangy-lookin’ guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says “No way. I don’t think you can pay for it.” The guy says “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?” The bartender says “Only if what you show me ain’t risque.” “Deal!” says the guy, as he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down a barstool, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, “You’re right. I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.” The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. “Money or another miracle else no drink,” says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch, a fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says “It’s a deal.” He takes the three hundred and gives the frog to the stranger, who runs out of the bar with it. The bartender says to the guy, “Are you some kind of nut?! You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!” “Not so,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist!”
A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, “What do they do here?”
He was told, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on and checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more countries.. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell…
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, what do they do here?”
He was told, “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day.”
“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells — so why are so many people waiting to get in here?” asked the man.
Because maintenance is so bat that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed and the Indian devil is a former Govt. servant, so he comes in and signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!
Famous Quote #1
People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Famous Quote #2
Everyone has problems, some are just better at hiding them.
Famous Quote #3
If we did all the things that we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.
Famous Quote #4
Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Dennis P. Kimbro
Famous Quote #5
Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
Thich Nhat Hahn
Famous Quote #6
Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.
Stephen Vincent Benét
Famous Quote #7
Only by going too far can one possibly find out how far one can go.
Famous Quote #8
People only see what they are prepared to see.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Famous Quote #9
Don’t be afraid to fail because only through failure do you learn to succeed.
Famous Quote #10
It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.
The balconies of the Sears Tower in Chicago – not for people who have vertigo!
The owners of the Sears Tower, the tallest skyscraper in the United States (Chicago), inaugurated last week four glass box viewing platforms. These balconies are suspended 1,353 feet (412 meters) in the air on the 103rd floor. They are 10ft high and 10ft wide and can hold 5 tons with their 1.5 inch thick glasses.Really impressive and definitively something to try…
The best natural interior picture – 90.7% Votes
The best animal world- 89.3% Votes
The best pet dog – 83.6% Votes
The best pet cat – 82.7% Votes
The best urban painting – 88.9% Votes
The best body paint – 86.6% Votes
The best adventure sport – 80.9% Votes
The best transport – 86.7% Votes
The best public display (musculine) – 86.7% Votes
The best public display (feminine) – 86.7% Votes
The best public display general – 86.2% Vote
Husband – hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife – would you like to have some snacks?
Husband – hard disk full.
Wife – have you brought the saree.
Husband – Bad command or file name.
Wife – but I told you about it in morning
Husband – erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife – hey God !forget it where’s your salary.
Husband – file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife – at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband – sharing violation, access denied.
Wife – i made a mistake marrying you.
Husband – data type mismatch.
Wife – you are useless.
Husband – by default.
Wife – who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband – system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife – what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband – the only user with write permission.
Wife – what is my value in your life?
Husband – unknown virus detected.
Wife – do you love me or your computer?
Husband – Too many parameters.
Wife – i will go to my dad’s house.
Husband – program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife – I will leave you forever.
Husband – close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife – it is worthless talking to you.
Husband – shut down the computer.
Wife – I am going
Husband – Its now safe to turn off your computer